


Spiced Rum

by Starbuck09256



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Fluff, IVF, MSR, RST
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-23
Updated: 2020-11-23
Packaged: 2021-03-10 07:20:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,748
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27689525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Starbuck09256/pseuds/Starbuck09256
Summary: christmas with scully before they do the ivf but after mulder has already agreed
Relationships: Fox Mulder & Dana Scully, msr - Relationship
Kudos: 52





	Spiced Rum

Season 6ish…

He swirls the Amber liquid around his glass watching the ice glisten in the multicolored lights from her tree. She sits next to him clinking his glass as she takes a sip of the cooling spiced rum, she coughs slightly and he grins a little at her. “That is strong” she says repeating his actions of swirling the liquid around watching lights twinkle. But she looks at him and smiles. “This is nice, I’m glad you came to my place this year for Christmas” she teases bumping his shoulder with hers her smile brighter than any led lights available.

This year that started with heartbreak, and seems to be hurling toward an ending in tangled sheets, sweaty palms and moans. He loves this, loves her. Loves what spiced rum and snow storms mean. How much the world can change in 365 days of 5 hard years of tears, trust and horror. They’ve sustained so much. Lost so much. Two weeks ago she asked him to help her become a mother. After he admitted to hiding his deepest regrets from her. Hoping she would never find out, never remember that it was him that got her abducted. Him that gave her cancer. Him that let them create a child for her and snatch her away leaving only a deep wake of pain behind. But then it was him who told her why, why he would hide some truths from her. Why he was reluctant to share his fear. Why what finding her eggs had meant for him. The heated argument “I can’t believe you kept this from me.” the tears hidden in anger crashing over him like a wave in an endless ocean. An ocean of despair. Him cradling her in his arms as she fell to a heap on the floor. Him wanting more than anything to be the only one for her. He regards her now, the first implantation attempt in just a few days after christmas but before the new year. What is next year going to hold for them? He didn’t want to change their relationship. She was far to special to him for him to regret adding more to their already complicated relationship.

But now here she is next to him in casual clothes on her blue striped couch. The lights have been twinkling and the rum has been strong, so strong he can feel his reservations falling. He spent so much of the year trying to push her away. He knew after he used a pitiful attempt to kiss her that it had been wrong. Wrong to try and use an intimate relationship with her as a means to keeping her with him professionally. They weren’t even partners anymore, they were colleagues, friends. She’s always been attractive, he’s not blind. But she was the best thing in his life. Should he risk it all for a few months of possible pleasure? Sex makes things more complicated. Now though things could become infinitely more complicated. A child with her eyes and his hair. Seeing a baby that is a mix of them. Seeing her full and pregnant, no more field work, no more chasing monsters on weekends. He swirls his drink some more before downing the rest of it. She smiles him, she been doing that more now. She’s been touching him more too, her touch is soft and calming.

He thinks about laying down and resting his head on her lap so she can stroke his hair while they watch “White Christmas” he thinks about counting his blessings and she is the top of the list.

She laughs and he looks at her curiously. 

“I still can’t believe you went to antarctica for me.” he looks at her puzzled, like there was any question of how far he could go for her. 

“I’d do anything for you, you know that,” he doesn’t mean to whisper it. Doesn’t mean to let it out. She looks at him a crease in her brow. 

“Is that why you said yes?” you can tell how scared she is, the fear caught on the last word. 

He turns to her. He’s thought about this, thought about how this is a terrible idea, them together in a romantic way. What if it doesn’t work, what if they end up hating each other. If they take this step it’s not one that can be easily washed away in the sand. He swallows, thinks about weekends of monster busting, thinks about her holding their child. He reaches up and brushes her hair back behind her ear. Letting his finger linger on her porcelain skin. He leans in closer, their drinks next to each other on her coffee table daring him. Why did he say yes, because he was afraid she would find someone else? He takes a deep breathe ready to defend himself, to tell her he said yes not just because she asked but because he might think he wants this too. He can’t though, he can’t form the words to tell her all that she means to him, and his brain seems to figure out this flaw of his, so it moves his muscles forward and he kisses her. His lips brush hers slowly at first and then he adds pressure.

She is stunned like everything paranormal she has seen has been nothing compared to him kissing her. It had been outside the realm of possibilities for so long, after so much back and forth. God it feels good though, he’s perfect, just like she knew he would be. She kisses him back slowly at first, still hesitant as to what this means, what they are doing. She is glad though, so happy that she can tell their child at least they have kissed before their baby was conceived in a test tube. He pulls back and she misses it immediately, not sure she can go another 6 years without that it. She looks at him, now seeing the resignation in his eyes, that he used that kiss to avoid her question. She doesn’t repeat the question, she knows she doesn’t have too. She can wait, wait for him to figure out how far he wants to take this. She’s already proven how far she wants to go. Prove that she wants everything with him. He sighs and rubs his face.

“I should go” he mutters. She wonders if he’ll ever get the courage to think they would make it. Always willing to believe in the impossible but not in them, not that they could, even if they already have, have made all the tough choices, the hard losses, they’ve given up everything but each other, perhaps because they never had each other to begin with.

She says nothing but looks at her glass next to his. Wonders if this will be the last time they have an evening like this. Wondering if he’ll call the clinic in the morning and withdraw. Can one small kiss ruin 6 years of trust and heartache? God, what have they done. He is putting on his coat and she can’t move can’t breathe. Can’t even get enough air in her lungs or enough courage to see him walk out her door. She knows the second she hears the door close tears will run down her face, and she will scold herself for being weak. But the click doesn’t come he stands with his hand on the doorknob as her eyes finally reach his, she’s holding back her tears for at least a second. He swallows looks at her. Now she repeats the question. If this is the end, she needs at least this answer. 

“Why did you say yes?” His mouth moves but nothing comes out he looks at her and she starts to stand to push him out the door herself for the anger and rage of what he just ruined for them. Now just inches away from him. She looks at him now with hurt and anger. 

“Why?” soft with anger. She is sure he will say he doesn’t know. That he didn’t really think about the implications like she asked him too. That he didn’t consider the consequences, the end game so to speak. 

“Because it was my only chance too,” his voice deep strained like part of his soul was ripped out and he’s still trying to stop it.

She scoffs he isn’t the one who is infertile. He isn’t the one who lost a daughter who dreamed of having a family that they could love and cherish for years and after finally meeting the right person finding out that the dream was just that. She touches his hand. 

“What do you mean?” she’s trying for curious for an elaboration on his statement. He plays with her fingers, gently brushing his thumb back and forth. He smiles softly. 

“You’re it for me, scully. No one else even comes close, even if I met someone else, they wouldn’t be .. you. No one else is good enough, and I know I’m not good enough for you, but you asked and I had to say yes.” He chuckles and so does she. 

She reaches up to touch his cheek, watches as he leans into it kissing her palm. 

“I love you… “ she confesses watching his face, he knows, she knows he does. 

“Why are you so afraid?” she mutters he kicks his foot into her carpet. He sighs before continuing 

“Because what if it doesn’t work? What do we do then?” She leans up kissing him this time. 

Letting her hands roam into his hair to pull him down to her. This kiss is nothing like the last, it is desperate a plea for reassurance for him to grant her access. He does letting her slip her tongue into his mouth. Putting his arms around her to allow her love to swim through his veins. It’s exhilarating, she is better than his fantasies, fits more perfectly than he dreamed. It’s like the floodgates have opened and now the only thing he can drink is her and spiced rum. When she finally pulls back, wiping her mouth and catching her breathe. He searches her eyes, wondering if he finally has the strength of her beliefs. 

“We fight Mulder, we fight for us. Just like we have been,” he can barely laugh before he kisses her again. Of course, it would work because it was them, and they can’t quit now.


End file.
